Monkey Parker Reports

(Hollywood, CA) Amid controversy, scandal and protest, the first-ever Golden Collar Awards took place in Century City Monday evening, honoring the work of entertainment industry pets and animals. In a surprise that shocked nobody, the big winner of the evening was “Uggie” for his stirring and comical performance in The Artist. The fact that he was nominated twice in the Best Dog in a Feature Film category (he also received a nod for his gender-crossing role as “Queenie”in Water for Elephants), only served to highlight how versatile this actor is. As one attendee put it to me ” It’s like if George Clooney and Meryl Streep had a child and that child was a dog.”

I wish I could report that the evening was all doggie treats and belly rubs, but with protests lobbied by Triumph the Insult Dog, Puss in Boots and Martin Scorsese, all fictional characters ineligible for the awards, the award ceremony had its moments of controversy. [EDITOR'S NOTE: We have been informed that Martin Scorsese is not, in fact, fictional, despite much evidence to the contrary. Leashline News regrets the error.]

Scorsese, despite being merely the creation of a talented group of CGI artists, appeared via video during the awards ceremony to advocate that Blackie from Hugo deserved a nomination and win far more than Uggie, calling him “ a nice little mascot who does tricks and saves his master’s life in one of the films, while Blackie gives an uncompromising performance as a ferocious guard dog who terrorizes children.”

Best Dog in a Foreign Film went to Koko from the Australian film Red Dog and Best Dog in a Television Series category went to Brigitte from Modern Family, who’s Dean Martin and Jerry Lee Lewis-esque comedy work with Ed O’Neill has too long gone unrecognized.

Best Dog in a Reality Television Series was a tie with Hercules from Pit Boss and Giggy from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills sharing the award, pleasing 99% of the crowd one minute and the other 1% the next. For a full list of winners and photos from the event, scroll below.

Laura Nativo, Preston, Giggy, and Lisa Vanderpump from the Real Housewives of Beverly MonkeyHills

Lu Parker, Monkey Parker, and Wendy Burch from KTLA

Monkey Parker, Lu Parker, and a real K9

The winner of best dog in a reality series is…

 

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